Disability Talks: Don't Dis My Ability

Zakiya Mabery -Change Maker through Diversity, Equality, and Inclusion in Employment

October 23, 2020 Abilities in Motion Season 1 Episode 5
Disability Talks: Don't Dis My Ability
Zakiya Mabery -Change Maker through Diversity, Equality, and Inclusion in Employment
Show Notes Transcript

Join us for an enlightening interview with special guest Zakiya Mabery of Washington, D.C. She's an international speaker, LinkedIn influencer, and Diversity, Inclusion and Equity advocate who describes herself as a “triple threat” because she is a Black woman with a disability. She is passionate about mental health and wellness and encourages listeners to let go of toxicity in life and cultivate healthy patterns of thinking and engaging with the world.

For more information about Abilities in Motion, visit our website at https://www.abilitiesinmotion.org/ or follow us on social media.


Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AbilitiesinMotionPA
Twitter: https://twitter.com/BerksCountyCIL
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/abilitiesinmotion/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSEXzEkE_CK5WYmOhMAN4Aw

Intro: (00:03)
Welcome to Disability Talks, a podcast produced by Abilities in Motion. I'm your host, Shelly Houser. Join us for real conversations and no-nonsense talk from everyday people with disabilities living their most independent, everyday lives. Tune in for the latest news surrounding disability, accessibility, and independence, where conversations aren't dissed and stories that need to be told aren't missed. So let's talk!

Shelly: (00:33)
Welcome back, listeners. I'm your host Shelly Houser. And this is Disability Talks. Today my guest is Zakiya Mabery, who resides in Washington, D.C. She's an international speaker, author, diversity inclusion and equity advocate, who's passionate about mental health and wellness. I've spoken with Zakiya many times and learn so much when I tap into her live LinkedIn panel discussions. Welcome, Zakiya. How would you describe yourself to our listeners?

Zakiya: (00:59)
I would describe myself as forward thinking. I would say I am a leader. I'm intuitive, empathetic. I'm a change maker. And I lead from the front and I will not do anything that, I would not ask anyone to do anything that I will not do myself. I'm a change maker. Like the late, great, honorable John Lewis said, "I'm always willing to get into some good trouble."

Shelly: (01:38)
Good trouble is great. I think Justice Ginsberg got into a lot of good trouble. Didn't she?

Zakiya: (01:44)
She did, she did all the time, always. From the days of her ROTC days in college, she's always been willing to shake things up. And I think that is the legacy that I’m living myself, even from my days of ROTC. That's the individual that I have been and that I'm still doing. I like to, um, if I have an idea and I, I know that my supervisors have told me, “Wow, Zakiya, your ideas are kind of out there.” Yeah, they are, I'm a visionary leader. And I have an idea and sometimes I have to have sometimes people there in my corner to help me pull them, pull my, my ideas back a little bit, because they may be a little too lofty for some, but I see the end state of how it can impact, positively impact, so many others. And, and I just need some people to assist me in crafting my goals so that they have the teeth to, um, actually form. Um, and I think probably the reason why I'm now sitting in this position at this moment as a business owner versus working for someone else company right now, because especially when I was working for the Department of Defense, if any of your listeners can understand that there's a lot of bureaucratic red tape. When you ask, well, why are things done that way? They'll say, well, that's the way it's always been done. So when you have an entrepreneurial mindset that sometimes you just have to break apart and just start doing things for yourself. So how would I describe myself? That's a long answer. My apologies. My brain sometimes gets away from me. I am a triple threat. I'm a black woman. I am creative. I have multiple disabilities, and I'm innovative.

Shelly: (04:06)
Awesome. Yes. And it's great that you're not just one thing. And you're so unique and you're so diverse and you're so out there and it's, it's, uh, and I've seen some of your game changer chats, and people are very drawn to not only listening to you, but also the guests that you have. You draw the guests in, and it's, it's just a really, really great thing. So tell me more about where your passion for what you do comes from. A lot of it's centered around mental health and wellness. Right?

Zakiya: (04:40)
I think part of my passion comes from—I grew up a military brat. My dad was in the military and I grew up overseas in Germany. So I like to give a part of the credit to that. I grew up around different cultures. So we grew up traveling mostly in Europe. I didn't move out to the United States until ninth grade. So I experienced different cultures, a lot of different types of people, and I appreciate that upbringing because I learned to just appreciate different types of people and cultures and that's—I think that's a wonderful thing. And I learned to respect different types of individuals and me being an individual with a disability, I have a learning disability, and it was in high school where, um, something, it was one of those moments, you know how everyone has a defining moment in life? Well, for me, one of those defining moments in life was in high school, when I was about to transition to college. And I talked to my parents about it and of course, in their household, there was no choice. Either you’re going into to the military or you're going to college. Well, actually, I wanted to do both. I had planned to be a military officer. So I was looking at the plan of what schools to go to for college and my high school teacher, one of my high school teachers said, "Well, Zakiya, I don't think you're college material because you have an IEP, an individual education plan." And I was just crushed. I went home crying, talked to my parents. They went right up to the school because, you know, they were my advocates. And well, um, it wasn't until most recently, my mom reminded me that a guidance counselor actually echoed that particular teacher's sentiments. 

So, um, moving forward, I did go to college. I went to Virginia State University. I was in ROTC, and I did eventually finish college and obtained my bachelor's degree. Yay! And I eventually finished my master's degree. And um, I like to tell people that story, because you're going to get a lot of doors slammed in your way. You're going to have a lot of obstacles. People are going to tell you no whether you have a disability or not have a disability, but you just got to keep pressing on. And after that life was not particularly, I want to say easy, because having multiple disabilities in the workplace, it's gonna be challenging. I worked most of my career and Human Capital and EEO. That's where they make the policies for the workplace rights so you wouldn't have it challenging would you? Well, no, I actually did—I had to, um, go through quite a few things. I have been discriminated against because of those triple threat elements I told you about, and talking about one of my favorite topics, intersectionality—when you talk about intersectionality, you don't necessarily know which one of those three elements cause intersectionality, it could be a multitude of things. For me, I'm talking about being Black, being a woman, having disabilities. I don't initially know why I'm being treated differently, right? So, um, and you just have to start, like, pulling back the layers to figure out why am I being treated differently? 

But it takes life experiences, to answer your question, to appreciate and value the good things. You can't appreciate good times until you've experienced bad times. Right?
 
 Shelly: (08:48)
Right.

Zakiya: (08:48)
You can't appreciate sunshine until you've had rain. You can't appreciate vacation until you, like, had a spell of where you haven't had vacation. So the reason why I appreciate different cultures, um, inclusion practices, and all of those different things is because I've experienced so much different traumas in life, adversities, and I help people through so much situations as an EEO practitioner. And so I used all of that and now I take it for a positive and I help other people. And that brings me tremendous joy, so much pleasure.

Shelly: (09:35)
I see a lot of your joy and your passion when you do your Game Changer Chat. I want you to tell our viewers more about what kind of topics you talk about when you have it, and then how long have you been doing that?

Zakiya: (09:49)
Thank you, that's a great question. I started doing it in 2018, and my first major in college I had to—was a mass communications. So I decided to take some of those skills and turn it into something functional. I started interviewing veterans, um, because, um, we're a military family and posted it on LinkedIn and I applied to be a LinkedIn live person and I got approved and started just started interviewing professionals that I felt would be of value to the masses. And so I talk a lot with individuals that affect diversity, equality, and inclusion. So, um, well, different people in those different spaces. And so for example, this month, I'll be talking with people who are practitioners, and diversity, mental health practitioners. In May, I spoke with you and a lot of other different practitioners and they share best practices. I'll talk about their businesses. And it's very interactive. And the reason why I do that is because I believe sharing your experiences and engaging in conversation, interactive conversation, is one of the first steps of moving towards change. Not everyone is gonna agree with you, and I'm okay with that. But I believe having a conversation is the first step towards catalyzing towards change. And what it does is gives the professional a platform to talk about his or her business, and it also gives the individuals from LinkedIn an opportunity to ask questions and collaborate about whatever topic it is. So on—we're going to be discussing about disability inclusion. We're going to be talking about cannabis as a healing mechanism. We're going to talking about, uh, leading an inclusive lifestyle. We're going to have a lot of different topics, um, for Disability Awareness Month, which is this month, in October. And then for November, we'll be talking a lot about veterans. Um, oh, one other topic we're going to be talking about for October is suicidal--suicide awareness. Um, because of course that's a very prevalent topic that a lot of people think is taboo and they don't want to talk about.

Shelly: (12:26)
And I'm so glad that you found your voice at a younger age. I was 28 until I found my voice, when I was pregnant with my first son. So that was really difficult. But I think once you find your voice, you never want to stop using it for the greater good ever again. Is that right?

Zakiya: (12:45)
Oh, that's so right. And I just want to say, Shelly, thank you for finding your voice. Thank you for your platform that you're using, so other people can utilize their voice. And I semi-found my voice in the twenties. I did feel comfortable in my twenties, was talking about our disabilities, but I wasn't that comfortable. I was semi comfortable. It wasn't until in my thirties where I was like, I was still going through microaggressions in the workplace and I still wasn't comfortable standing up for myself, saying, “Excuse me, ma'am. Excuse me, sir.” That's was a microaggression. Here's why, and this is how it caused me to feel. And part of that, and I discussed this on Game Changer Chat is because I wasn't--I did not know how that was going to cause the other person to feel. And I also wasn't sure what the repercussions would, might be. And again, that just comes with maturity, wisdom, time, life experiences, and everybody gets that in a much different time when they're comfortable, because I see a lot of dynamic speakers and professionals on LinkedIn who are much younger than I was, who are much more comfortable at calling people out on their stuff. So it just is when someone is comfortable, but also it comes with the times that we have so much civil injustice occurring now, and what is going on, people are more comfortable because of the time, of what is going on because they actually saw the knee on George Floyd's neck. It is more appropriate now because the time is right to have those circumstances, to call people out. It is created an atmosphere where people say, I have had enough. I am not going to tolerate this anymore. And during this time when people are no longer tolerating it, I urge leaders to ask your employees, are you okay? I believe it is their duty to ask their employees. Check in with them. It is not business as usual. When you go back to work on Monday after you just saw something happen on national news and just, are your deliverables ready? Let’s check to see if this is going on. I think it is your duty as an organizational leader, no matter what field when you're working in. “I saw what happened over the weekend, before we get started with work, I just want to know, employees, are you okay? Here is the number of to EAP, employee assistance program. It is available. Use it, call it.” Because statistics have stated according to the World Health Organization (WHO), that the numbers are staggering. They have gone up for suicide, and that that's real people. And I know that I appear to be strong, that's what my friends say. And the people that you want to check on are the people who look like they have it all together, the ones who look like they're strong, but you have no idea what are going on inside. Send them a text, calling them to saying, “Hey, I just want to know how are you doing? No, really? How are you doing?” Because battling all of the stresses that are going on with not just the business, your business, but just the emotional things that are going on during this time. There's a lot. And I would encourage friends, family just to reach out, to see how your friends and family are doing. And that again, as I say, if you're a leader in organizations, not just the business side, on the civil side. Churches, fraternities, sororities, reach out to your people. It's not just, you're not just elected in these positions just to say, I am now president of this organization, or are you really, it's really your duty, your obligation to check on your people.

Shelly: (17:28)
And I think, I think the one thing is, is that you really, when you ask those questions, you have to really want to listen to the answer, and you're shaking your head, yeah? So don't ask it if you don't really want to hear it. And the other thing is, one big thing that you always talk about and I sure appreciate it, is you talk about the stigmas and how we seriously need to let it go. Especially right now in the time of COVID and time of this, this violence and, and time of change. And we need to be okay—and say no, I'm not okay, because we as humans are so—what is the word I'm looking for? We're so trained to say, “Yeah, I'm okay. I'm a little stressed, you know, this, that and the other thing.” And we're not, and we're dying inside. We're falling apart inside. And we look like we have it all together. And, and the internal health, mental health, and wellness is probably for me, what I've seen is the scariest disability, because you can't see it, and we are trained to act like we are okay when we're not.

Zakiya: (18:37)
So, I'm thinking of two things right there. Yes. The stigma, especially in the Black and Brown community, is there about mental health. We need to get over it. It is okay to ask for help, actually a sign of strength to ask for help. Next, when someone is asking you for help, we need to program ourselves to actually give a real response. Let me say that again. When someone asked you truly, and if you can tell that they're being authentic, when they're asked, how are you doing? Train your brain, if this is someone that you trust, to say, “No, I'm not okay.” And be real, be like, you know, I have a lot on my plate right now and this and this is going on, or if this is someone that you really care about, and you just don't feel like communicating with them at this time, but you want to let them know that you're, you know, you're, you're not able to talk, just communicate back with them to say, you know, I I'm going through some rough patch right now. But let them know that you're not okay. You do need to do that. You do need to reach out to your network and let them know that you're not—you’re, you're not okay. Um, but I know it's been a rough, rough about, I guess, six months now for a lot of us, and, um, unfortunately the data supports that it might get rougher because, uh, we don't have a vaccine right now. So I recommend that we just practice mindfulness, use our tools, uh, get rid of toxic energy. And what that consists of are toxic sources in your life, which includes people and things in your space. Clutter, clutter that you don't need, whether that's clothing, you heard of fall cleaning. We've heard that for a long time, and clutter in your life can consist of people and/or things. So, it's October, and it's time to just a fall cleaning people. So it's time to get on your social media. People who are posting negative, toxic energy, we don't want and or need it. Get rid of it. In your home, clothes that do not serve you anymore. You don't wear, you haven't worn it in the last five or six months, donate it or throw it away. Now, if it's dirty and has holes in it, why would you donate that? Just toss it in the garbage can. Things that you don't need in your home, get rid of it. Toxic energy is not good for you. It's not good for anyone. And again, that includes on your social media feed. Practice mindfulness, what does that look like? And I'm sharing with you, some of the things I have learned from years of therapy, and I'm not afraid to say it. Um, it has been recommended to me to have sticky notes with positive affirmations throughout my home, on my mirror, in my bathroom. Looking at them, if you’re a person of faith, Bible verses, things that's going to pour into your spirit as you look at them, as you walk through out your space so that you have positive energy pouring into you throughout the day. These are just recommendations of things that helped me practice mindfulness. Sense, your sense of smell, candles lit when your energy is down, and you can breathe in the positive scents. It's so helpful.

Shelly: (22:33)
Zakiya, you bring up a great point as always. So love listening to you and your points of mental health and wellness. And with that, we're going to take a short break. So stay tuned for more with Zakiya Mabrery.

Advertisement: (22:45)
Abilities in Motion is a Pennsylvania-based nonprofit organization dedicated to helping individuals with disabilities live their lives on their own terms. Abilities in Motion strives to eliminate psychological stereotypes, physical barriers, and outdated attitudes that prevent social and civic inclusion, as well as promote the independent living movement to empower, educate, and advocate for individuals with disabilities. For more information about programs and services Abilities in Motion provides, call (610) 376-0010 or visit our website at www.abilitiesinmotion.org.

Shelly: (23:23)
And we're back to Disability Talks. I'm your host, Shelly Houser. And today we have guest Zakiya Mabery from Washington, D.C. talking about mental health and wellness. So let's get back to it. Tell me more about, while you are not only on LinkedIn, but where else are you that our listeners can find you on any other platforms of social media?

Zakiya: (23:44)
Sure. You can find me on Instagram by going to @thezakiyamabery and also by going to my Facebook group, which is DI Game Changers.

Shelly: (24:01)
And then how often do you do your Game Changer Chat live on LinkedIn?

Zakiya: (24:07)
Once a week, on Thursdays.

Shelly: (24:09)
Thursdays around six o'clock, right?

Zakiya: (24:11)
Well, actually seven.

Shelly: (24:11)
Well, it depends. And that's Eastern time, right?

Zakiya: (24:15)
Yes.

Shelly: (24:15)
Yeah. So, it's different times. So, it's seven o'clock Eastern time. So, adjust if you're somewhere else in the United States.

Zakiya: (24:23)
Yes.

Shelly: (24:23)
Right. So I am excited to see another Game Changer Chat coming up this week, and for all of our listeners, thank you so much for joining in with us. And Zakiya Mabery, thank you for joining us from Washington, D.C. area. And namaste. Stay healthy, stay well in 2020, and get out the vote, right?

Zakiya: (24:42)
Yes, absolutely.

Both: (24:44)
Get out and vote.

Outro: (25:07)
Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Disability Talks Want to keep the conversation going? Then visit our website at abilitiesinmotion.org or connect with us on social media. And remember, don't diss my ability.